She doesn’t sleep.

I come to you today, folks, with my head hung low.

I have to ask forgiveness for thinking I had all the answers about grumpy babies.

“Jut put them on a schedule”, I said.

“They thrive on routine”, I said.

“It only takes three days to sleep train them”, I said.

“They aren’t the boss of you” I said.

And all that may be true. It certainly was for our two older daughters.

I don’t know if it’s just harder when you’re in your thirties, rather than twenties, or if having a combination of older children and babies makes it harder, but I have not been able to get this beautiful, precious girl on a schedule. I’ll start thinking things are going well; two naps a day, and to bed by eight, then BAM, she hits a growth spurt, or a developmental milestone (guess who’s fully mobile?), or starts teething, and there goes sleep out the door again.

Is it possible that my older girls did this too, but I’ve locked it away in my mind, like some kind of trauma?

As much as I hate to send my kiddos back to school, I’m hoping that the structure which comes with it will lull the baby into a better routine.

I need some sleep.

Last night I was up every hour and a half.

At one point my husband got up. He came and patted my shoulder, as the baby screamed through a diaper change and said he was sorry.   I’m certain he just came down to make sure I wasn’t shaking her.

So that’s where we are today. Since I don’t know what else I can do, I’m just going to keep trying to get her on a routine.
I know that’s the definition of insanity, but she can’t possibly be up every hour and a half until college right?

Right?!