Stress-Free Thanksgiving Strategies

Although I have such fond memories of big family celebrations, I avoided hosting any for most of my early adult years. I just couldn’t imagine it all coming together without turning me into a basket case. After all, I spent most of my childhood watching my mom storming around the house, tending to last minute details, and freaking out that people might start arriving before her relish platter was ready.

Mom loved having the family all together for a special meal, but she definitely did NOT enjoy the hours leading up to the occasion.

Looking back, I think Mom could have had a stress-free Thanksgiving if she’d had realistic expectations, delegated effectively, and planned/prepped in advance.

Having realistic expectations and knowing what your loved ones value most will inform which details you put the most energy into. Mom’s relish platter is a great example. She was always adamant about using her crystal, and arranging the items on the platter really carefully, with lettuce garnishes, and a sprinkle of paprika.

And nobody cared.

It was beautiful, but all the kids cared about was putting the olives on our fingers. And the grown-ups knew they needed to avoid the appetizers altogether if they wanted room for dessert.

Is there a figurative crystal relish platter you can leave in the cabinet to gain yourself a little peace?

If you DO choose to keep the platter, and do the garnishes, and arrange everything just so, what can you delegate to get yourself some margin? One reason mom was always so stressed is that she almost never accepted help. This is definitely an area I need growth in as well. For me the issue comes up when I don’t have a plan. Without a plan, I can’t articulate what needs done, and therefore can’t effectively ask for help. One thing that helps is to have some simple, yet solid traditions. For instance, each of my kids has a dish they always prepare. This not only takes some weight off me but gives the kids a practical way to contribute.

Can you identify a dish, or task that you can allow someone else to handle?

Advance planning is the number one thing that minimizes stress for me. I have joked with friends that it takes me two weeks to get the house ready for a party. Realistically it takes much longer. For my personality type, four weeks is ideal. It allows plenty of time to set an initial budget and shopping list, and to identify and create a reasonable timeline for any projects. (Raise your hand if you’ve found yourself scrubbing baseboards fifteen minutes before guests arrive.) For day-to-day planning, I love a good old spiral notebook. For bigger events I find it helpful to use a template to help me remember all the little details.

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My wish is that having a great game-plan allows you to truly enjoy your friends and family. Have a stress-free Thanksgiving!

Cheers!