Who’s in charge here?

This is going to start out like a political post, but if you’ll bear with me I think I can bring it around, to NOT a political post.

And since it’s rather a rant, it won’t be my best writing. I pay the hosting, I can lay an egg now and then if I want to.

Here’s some background info that you may not be aware of:

I’m brown.

I came from a broken home.

I’m pretty sure my absentee father –who I’ve never laid eyes on– was “undocumented”. (That’s code for ILLEGAL in case you didn’t know, and I HOPE the reason I’ve never met him is that he was deported; it’s better than thinking he ditched me by choice.)

I grew up desperately poor.

I was responsible for my little brother, and a latch key kid at eight or nine.

I was often unsupervised as a child.

I even had a real, live bully in junior high.

Sounds pretty rough, right?

According to the leftist rhetoric, if anyone were going to be oppressed, it should have been me. But guess what?

I’m not.

Being held down never even occurred to me. What did occur to me was working hard.

I don’t want to paint too proud a picture of myself. I was a typically bratty kid, and I had some advantages; a level playing field, if you will. Public school. Financial aid for community college. A big loving family.

Except for the latter, I’m pretty sure those are things that every American still has access to.

I’m not saying there aren’t obstacles.  What I’m trying to say is that if I can overcome obstacles, like being a poor minority, so can anyone. We don’t lack opportunities in this country,  what we lack is gumption.

Now I’m not saying don’t stand up for yourself.  I’m not saying don’t be kind.  I’m not saying don’t help.  I’m not saying if you need help you’re somehow flawed. I’m saying that help is already available. I’ve used it.  I didn’t have to throw a fit to get it, and neither do you.

It comes down to locus of control. Who’s in charge of your life? I hear a bunch of young people saying in not so many words, “My life, My choice, My rights; Your responsibility”.

That’s an external locus of control. Let me just say, if the government is in charge of your life, you’ve put them in charge.  And don’t even get me started on your right to feel a certain way (safe is the word that comes to mind). Nobody gets to choose your emotions for you.  If being different makes you feel unsafe, my guess is there’s no legislation that will change that for you.

The good news is that we can change our locus of control.  I think the current buzz phrase is “adopt a growth mindset”.

I don’t have an eloquent wrap up.  So I’ll finish by saying this isn’t a politics post. It’s a parenting post. I’m not going to waste your time by telling you how to parent, or how your parents went wrong. I don’t know you. I’m not an expert. I’m just a small town poor girl, who turned into a not-oppressed woman, who has exactly the life she wanted, because she didn’t wait for it to be legislated for her.

This guy does have some credentials though, and some great advice if you want to raise kids with an internal locus of control, who face challenges head on, rather than seeking safe spaces.

https://www.circeinstitute.org/podcast/commons-12-building-sturdy-children

Happy Saturday

3 thoughts on “Who’s in charge here?

  1. Michael

    I don’t think I could be more proud of you! As someone who stood next to you growing up and seeing your world through my eyes, I know first hand how easy it would be to claim victim status and put that on anyone else. You however, took this world and made it your.

    I love you very much!

    Reply
    1. Mama Post author

      Awww! Ladies and Gentlemen, my big brother! ^^^ Thanks Mike, for being the kind of big brother you were and still are. <3 I love you too!

      Reply
  2. Stephanie R.

    Thank you for not only being brave enough to name your reality for people, but also to share truth about mindset and heart. I am thankful to know people (a lot of them women) who are living and displaying their unique (not equal) selves.

    Reply

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