Can I be honest for a minute? I’m having a hard time replacing “time wasting” with Mother Culture. But that is exactly WHY I need to be more deliberate. The nature of my time wasting habits (internet/facebook) is definitely making my brain dull. I don’t want a dull brain. Today I took the proactive step of removing email and facebook from my tablet, so that when I’m using it for a legitimate reason (homeschool math, reading kindle books to the kids, playing music) I don’t get distracted by the time-wasters. This way I’m not bringing the distractions with me when I step away from my desk, and into my role as a human and mother.
Now, onto our final definition for (Mother) culture from Merriam-Webster.
a : the integrated pattern of human knowledge, belief, and behavior that depends upon the capacity for learning and transmitting knowledge to succeeding generations
b : the customary beliefs, social forms, and material traits of a racial, religious, or social group; also : the characteristic features of everyday existence (as diversions or a way of life} shared by people in a place or time popular culture
c : the set of shared attitudes, values, goals, and practices that characterizes an institution or organization
d : the set of values, conventions, or social practices associated with a particular field, activity, or societal characteristic
That is a lot to chew on. There are so many ways to be a mother, and more yet, to be a “good” mother. I suppose for the purpose of our discussion we can default to those things which all mothers have in common; The Culture of Motherhood.
Get a group of mothers together, no matter what religion, socioeconomic status, or nationality and you’ll find that we all desire that our children be healthy, well adjusted, and smart. We all hope our children know how much we love them. We all hope our children will grow into respectable adults. We are all trying hard, and we all worry we’re falling short.
We may speak different languages but we’re saying the same things:
Quit pulling your sister’s hair!
Brush your teeth!
Eat your veggies!
I love you!
Isn’t that idea kind of edifying? You are not alone, and that “pinterest perfect” mom at story hour, is probably just as tired and insecure as you are. Perhaps you could strike up a conversation.
Having a good group of Mothers to fellowship with does MUCH for the mother’s soul. Whether its your own mother, your sisters or a local mom’s group, I can’t say enough good things for spending time with other mothers, hearing their stories and sharing yours. I know that I always walk away from visits with other mothers with a full cup. I hope that I can fill theirs in return.
The one caveat to all this motherly fellowship is that you need to be sure not to compare, and critique yourself too harshly against mothers who appear to be doing it better. In truth they may be have it all together today, but maybe yesterday their kids had frosting sandwiches for lunch, (points to self). Do borrow the good ideas other moms share with you, but don’t use another mother’s public persona as a checklist for your failings.
You are the mother your children need.
Well, I’m all out of Mother Culture definitions for you, and I think by now we’ve all had a good chance to mull over what it means and how it can help in each of our homes. Next week I’ll move on to some nuts and bolts of how I get a few minutes to grow myself each day, even with a busy toddler in the house.