Today was my first day back at my seasonal fish and wildlife job. As much fun as the job is, I’m so sad that I’m letting someone else have all the fun of being with my kids all day. If I could strap them to my back and carry them along with me, it would be the perfect job.
Each spring I tell myself this is the last year. The last year I’ll sell my kid’s childhood in exchange for 120 television channels, brand name coffee and crummy convenience foods. The last year we only get the benefit of half my earnings because the other half takes care of gas and childcare. The last year I’ll tread water as a wife and mother, because family will forgive half measures where employers will not.
This is a huge struggle for me, because I was raised to be independent, and such a huge part of independence is having one’s own money. Prior to having children I always worked and had relatively well paid jobs. I grew accustomed to having a lot of extra money. When I found out we were expecting our first child we were between work seasons and I fully inteded to stay home instead of returning to work. But when I got the invitation to return to work all I could think about was how much we could use the extra income in our down-payment-for-a home-fund. I told myself it was just a few months and after we found (and qualified for the loan on) a home I’d quit and stay home to be a frugal mama. Well, it took three more years to find the home, by that time there was another child, not to mention a bunch of pay increases which make that income all the more gripping. With each new season I tell myself it’s just until we pay off…whatever. But there always seems to be another whatever waiting behind the first.
I don’t know that I have a real point with this post, I guess I’m mostly just venting. I’m feeling very motivated to find another way to contribute to my families financial well being. I’m feeing motivated to cut costs so that this can really be the last year of my kids childhood that I miss out on. I’m not sure how I’ll do it just yet, but I know that there is a will so, there has to be a way right?
Do you work outside your home? What was your deciding factor?