Back To The Grind

Today was my first day back at my seasonal fish and wildlife job.  As much fun as the job is, I’m so sad that I’m letting someone else have all the fun of being with my kids all day.  If I could strap them to my back and carry them along with me, it would be the perfect job. 

Each spring I tell myself this is the last year.  The last year I’ll sell my kid’s childhood in exchange for 120  television channels, brand name coffee and  crummy convenience foods.  The last year we only get the benefit of half my earnings because the other half takes care of gas and childcare.  The last year I’ll tread water as a wife and mother, because family will forgive half measures where employers will not. 

This is a huge struggle for me, because I was raised to be independent, and such a huge part of independence is having one’s own money.  Prior to having children I always worked and had relatively well paid jobs.  I grew accustomed to having a lot of extra money.  When I found out we were expecting our first child we were between work seasons and I fully inteded to stay home instead of returning to work.  But when I got the invitation to return to work all I could think about was how much we could use the extra income in our down-payment-for-a home-fund.  I told myself it was just a few months and after we found (and qualified for the loan on) a home I’d quit and stay home to be a frugal mama.  Well, it took three more years to find the home, by that time there was another child, not to mention a bunch of pay increases which make that income all the more gripping.  With each new season I tell myself it’s just until we pay off…whatever.  But there always seems to be another whatever waiting behind the first. 

I don’t know that I have a real point with this post, I guess I’m mostly just venting.  I’m feeling very motivated to find another way to contribute to my families financial well being.  I’m feeing motivated to cut costs so that this can really be the last year of my kids childhood that I miss out on.   I’m not sure how I’ll do it just yet, but I know that there is a will so, there has to be a way right?

Do you work outside your home?  What was your deciding factor?

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6 thoughts on “Back To The Grind

  1. Denise @

    ooooo. Don’t I know your pain. I feel it. I did it. After only having 300.00 leftover each month after childcare ONLY, my job bosses were getting too temperamental, I went back to being the SAHM. It’s not easy on the husband who had the illusion of a larger income because we both worked. But he’s maturing now in a financial sense of understanding that it didn’t make sense for me to work unless he wasn’t working at all. Which is why I’d gone back to work 9 months after having our first child. It takes time to figure out if it’s worth it financially. If working outside the home gives you satisfaction that you’d miss too much, then work. 🙂

    1. Mama Post author

      I do so enjoy my co-workers and it’s a great job especially in the present economy, and I’ve learned a lot there, but nothing can compare to being with my family 🙂 I just hate leaving them. Many mornings I’ll cry the entire drive into work.

  2. Tiffany @ DontWastetheCrumbs

    I have two kids (4 and almost 3) and I teach part time: 8 hrs/day for 2 days each week. I’m fortunate that my step-mom watches the kids for lunch and nap, then Daddy picks them up and brings them home for the night.

    As the kids are getting bigger, we’re seriously considering cutting back to only 4 hours, or cutting the job altogether. My husband REALLY enjoys having me home during my breaks, and I enjoy it too. I also don’t want to miss them growing up. I already feel like these past 4 years have gone by too quickly.

    I understand your pain. I work so that we can save more and hopefully have a place of our own to call home. We want a garden and a great homeschooling environment. If I quit, we won’t be able to save at nearly the rate we do, and will probably never have a home, but I miss out on two days a week.


    1. Mama Post author

      I understand how it goes trying to save up. I also know there’s going to be stress. Either we stress over having someone else raise our children, or if I dedice to stay home we’ll stress over lack of money. I’m trying to look at the bright side, and make myself thankful that we can pay our bills and afford the occasional luxury. But I do try to take extra days off to spend with the kids whenever possible. And I’m working on a plan to cut costs so that we won’t need an entire second income.

  3. Ann

    Finding the balance, learning to say no on things we really can not do; NO, I am not able to bake 144 cupcakes tonight! And yes to those things we really want to do; YES, I will help you walk your 4H hogs!
    After 8 years of owning my own business (it actual owned me) I am returning to “otherside” hopefully I will be able to manage my schedule more (work 3 days a week) and dang it, the money will be nice!
    I work hard and play harder!

  4. Pingback: Decisive Action | Half Acre Heaven

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